Dear someone, of the web or anywhere in this freaking universe - might even in a parallel universe! Can you help me? I need a break, from it all. I'm constantly stressed, tired, worn out and I have to every. freaking. thing that mom can think of (or so it feels). I would wish for someone there looks like me, to cover up for me the next three months - someone to do my homework, cleaning, take care of an angry mm and so on. I can't, 'cause I'm breaking down here!?! .. I should atleast have some time for myself, right? And you know when that is? When she's not here! Or when my homework is over (around 21).. Today I've played sims, it was great, really. I needed some time off so I kida "forgot" to do everything I should and now I have to do them tomorrow~.. Weeeee.... I need a break, can you hear that?
It's gotten so far, my doctor is even worried of my health, 'cause I don't really eat, nor sleep very much. I drink a whole bunch of water and exercise (please don't start talking abour an eating disorder, because it's not. I got too much stomach acid, which make me vomit).. My head hurts like hell, I really wish I could cry, but I can't. I don't know why, but my eyes are not watery, nor are they dry... My whole body is aching.
I find it quite surprising through all f this, I still try and get a job (so I don't spend much tie at home), but I'm too freaking nervous, so.. At least I await for calls now.
And I'm getting tired of all of those lovey dovey couples on facebook "Oooh Simon, I love you so much. Thanks for three adorable months together, we are so cute!! :***<33 I hope our love will never die :*<3<3<3 Yours Princess". It makes me sick, and even worse.. My x-bestfriend is doing it. I know it sounds weird, but I cn't stand it! and the only reason why we're still friends on facebook its because I'm obligated to - her parents and mine are great friends... hurrray... And then there's me.. Sad, little, depressed me, with a warm spirithood - no friends in school and a sidebuddy there is in a realtionsship with a guy there has been totally in love with me since 7th grade. And I don't even think he is really that much in love with her. But this is only a guess.
I'm tired of being everyone's happy face and going around trying to make the world greater for them all, I want to be me and get rest. I want tot be with my sister, 'cause I'm not going to see her untill Feburary and I really want to scream and kick and cry. I want to sleep without nigtmares, were I wake up and trembles as I was an earthquake.
Most of all ... I want to be relaxed.
I think I'll go clean the rest of my freaking room and then die in the bed. It seems a hole lot easier than crying.
Goodnight
It's gotten so far, my doctor is even worried of my health, 'cause I don't really eat, nor sleep very much. I drink a whole bunch of water and exercise (please don't start talking abour an eating disorder, because it's not. I got too much stomach acid, which make me vomit).. My head hurts like hell, I really wish I could cry, but I can't. I don't know why, but my eyes are not watery, nor are they dry... My whole body is aching.
I find it quite surprising through all f this, I still try and get a job (so I don't spend much tie at home), but I'm too freaking nervous, so.. At least I await for calls now.
And I'm getting tired of all of those lovey dovey couples on facebook "Oooh Simon, I love you so much. Thanks for three adorable months together, we are so cute!! :***<33 I hope our love will never die :*<3<3<3 Yours Princess". It makes me sick, and even worse.. My x-bestfriend is doing it. I know it sounds weird, but I cn't stand it! and the only reason why we're still friends on facebook its because I'm obligated to - her parents and mine are great friends... hurrray... And then there's me.. Sad, little, depressed me, with a warm spirithood - no friends in school and a sidebuddy there is in a realtionsship with a guy there has been totally in love with me since 7th grade. And I don't even think he is really that much in love with her. But this is only a guess.
I'm tired of being everyone's happy face and going around trying to make the world greater for them all, I want to be me and get rest. I want tot be with my sister, 'cause I'm not going to see her untill Feburary and I really want to scream and kick and cry. I want to sleep without nigtmares, were I wake up and trembles as I was an earthquake.
Most of all ... I want to be relaxed.
I think I'll go clean the rest of my freaking room and then die in the bed. It seems a hole lot easier than crying.
Goodnight
Aww, Lyra sweetie!
ReplyDeleteYou're a very hardworking girl, but you should at least have some time off.
If you don't mind me asking, why's your mom angry? You're doing everything you have capacity to right now!!!
Also, doesn't it hurt when you drink water?!?
I really wish you could cry though.
... Why the hell are you trying to get a job, when you are so stressed? Wouldn't that make you more stressed?!?
Can't really say much to the couples thing. They'll always be there, and I hate facebook anyway so...
Lyra, if you don't want to be everyone's happy face, then don't. You are you and you should be allowed to be yourself. Make the world greater for yourself before everyone else! I know it's easy to say and harder to do though...
Just... look forward to the christmas break and remember: I'll be there for you if you want it <3!!!
~Alyze